More Disappointment

Stephen called me last night. Well ... he originally left a message on my cell phone saying that he wasn't sure when - if ever - he would be back, but that I could try to email him and that he would try to call me back. Apparently he called me around 5pm - I think that I was handwashing clothes around then. I only got the message around 9pm. I was on my way out for a walk just after 9:30pm when he surprisingly called me back. He told me about his adventures in sailing - where he had gone, how he had almost died, etc. He was rather happy & I was rather calm (maybe overly calm ... but really, I wasn't too sure why he was calling me & what to make of the situation). He said that he doesn't know when he'll be back. To me, it sounded like it could be as soon as in a month or 2 or as far away as a year.

I really don't know what to do with this. I was hoping to get a resolving answer out of him in the next couple of months -- and now it sounds like I might not even ever get an answer out of him & I can't keep waiting forever. The physical distance will prevent me & Stephen from ever happening.

He has to do what he needs to do with his life ... as will I if I ever go to grad school.

I feel so disappointed right now. Unfortunately (or fortunately) I still think that we could happen -- that this is just a delay. Alana suggests that this should be taken as a sign to move on. But maybe this is the right way to resolve things ... I sort of decided that no matter what happened I didn't want to come out of it hating him.